Turkey Burgers at 8AM

Why not? I mean, if you just got home at 7:30 and you’re hungry and you gotta eat something, turkey burgers seem like a good choice. I’m all about unconventional breakfast food.

I found out last night that sometimes if you’re on a good porch at various locations on the south side slopes on a clear night, you can stargaze pretty well. Winter is so cold but it’s the best stargazing season. There’s really something intoxicating about laying in the snow on a clear winter night in the middle of nowhere when you can see EVERY star in the sky because there’s no hazy humidity. And being outside on a clear winter night is pretty much the coldest you will ever feel but that’s partially why it’s incredible. That feeling paired with the warm feeling that the alcohol you inevitably have to drink while doing this makes you reach some kind of weird transcendent out-of-body state and the stars feel like they’re 2 inches in front of you. It’s a weird sense of clarity for things in all parts of your life and the “important” things become less important because you realize that you’re nothing but paradoxically, you also feel less alone in some larger, “we’re all in this thing together” kind of sense. Especially if you’re stargazing with someone you love who’s important to you. It’s like two or more people in that one moment in that one place somewhere on the edge of the Milky Way galaxy in the Virgo supercluster. Nothing means anything and everything means something all at the same time.

Semi-relevant:

I love Calvin & Hobbes. I think I need to add “loves Calvin and Hobbes” to my boy requisites because I can’t love anyone who doesn’t. I think that’s weirdly one of the reasons why Matt and I lasted so long. He was Calvin for Halloween like a week after we started dating and shit like that just sticks in your head and makes you think that even though it’s hard, it’s worth it. I hate memory. I hate that stuff like that stays with you forever until you die. The last thing I want to think about right now is the good memories.

Chris is randomly back in town. Rachel texted me at like 6:40AM to say that we’re all getting together with her tonight. This is the best surprise of all time and so this day is going by so so slowly. I sincerely miss Chris and Alex all the time and everyday wish that Japan wasn’t so far away. I can’t wait until tonight. Pittsburgh/Baltimore is always an intense good time (provided that we win, of course) and now that Chris is home, it’s going to be the best night of my life.

I also saw Howl’s Moving Castle for the first time yesterday and it really might be my 2nd favorite movie of all time now. As Ed says, “…the story demonstrates multiple lessons about emotional maturity as individuals and society.” Truth. And it blew my Imaginationland mind. It was funny/quirky, it was soothing, it was sad, it was profound. I need to read the book now. And I want to cancel Netflix but I can’t. There’s just too much good stuff out there.

Speaking of good movies, I love November for the Three Rivers Film Fest. I feel like all I ever want to be doing is watching indie movies in the Harris Theater. I look forward to being 32 and coming back to live here forever. It’s definitely time to go though and I’m anxiously counting down the weeks until it’s time to start over in Alabama. The best life skill I have is my inherent ability to pick up and start over and adapt.

It occurred to me then, that perhaps the reason for my growth was I was intended for larger things. After all, a giant man can’t have an ordinary-sized life.
– Big Fish

Also, I found out yesterday that my mom might have lung cancer. That’s kinda terrifying. I guess the fact that she smoked a lot when she was younger and the fact that we kind of have a family history of it don’t make it easier to think about. No point in worrying until we know for sure though.

Life comes at you from all directions. It’s amazing and terrible all at the same time.

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