2012 Mardi Gras Results

Saturday morning: I woke up in my bed, not remembering how I got there. But all my keys and clutch were exactly where they should be. And I’d even managed to lock the door I came in through and take my contacts out. But my phone was missing. And the day was a total waste. I’m gonna pitch a new show to ABC called Extreme Hangover: Liz Edition. Obviously did not study for the big math exam. Score… Mardi Gras: 1, Liz: 0

Sunday: Joe Cain day. All day.  My best rallying effort yet. I pulled it back together and went hard. But definitely not as hard as Friday night. That math exam was looming. I had to participate on some level though. Drinking outside in public is still a sublime anomaly to me. Plus, parades are my #1 love.

Late Sunday night: Studied for the math exam. Kind of.

Monday morning: Found my phone and got a 100 on the math exam. Score: Mardi Gras: 1, Liz: 1.

The problem with my drinking habits is that I never suffer any consequences. I hope I don’t jinx myself by saying that. But basically, I’m thriving in life regardless of alcohol intake. Granted, if we were legitimately alcoholics, I doubt we’d be this successful and that would be a real problem. But whenever anyone says, “Maybe we chill out a little? We’re getting older n’at…” I can’t help but point out that none of us are even close to failing at life, so why stop?

I don’t take any of this for granted though. I realize how very real the consequences could be. I must have some kind of drunkenness guardian angel watching over me. Probably one of the Irish ancestors. Great Grandma Flanagan, if you’re responsible for this, thanks a ton.

I also think my mom is a bad influence. She’s all about me doing things like drinking and going out with charming southern gentlemen when I should be studying.

Tangent: Sadly, this happens more than it should. They’re so dreamy, I can’t help it. Do I want a boyfriend? Hell no. But are they lovely to spend time with? Of course. End tangent.

Her attitude basically defies mom logic. She should be encouraging me to work as hard as I can and be responsible and all of that.

But last night, she asked about what kinds of good things I’d be drinking all day before she said, “And good luck on your test.” And that’s the only thing she said about the test. It was basically an afterthought. Either she was extra confident in my mathematical skills, extra interested in what we drink down here, or she and I are the same person in some ways. I know for a fact that she went hard when she was 24, too. I feel like I’ve mentioned that at least a few times before.

Anyway, we unfortunately had school today (obviously) and have school again tomorrow because the people who made the schedule weren’t kidding about the accelerated part. So, alas, Mardi Gras 2012 is over for me. Everyone gets to bum around downtown and get super lit up and catch moon pies. I have to go on a detour to get home because all the streets are blocked off.  Sigh.

Relatedly, Mobile has tunnels. They go under the river instead of through the mountain, but they’re tunnels nonetheless. I think yinzers should take a lesson in tunnel driving from Mobilians. It’s a commonly known fact that people in Pittsburgh slow way down before entering a tunnel. Down here, it’s straight up Nascar through the tunnels… at least the one’s on I-10. Refreshing change of pace for sure.

Although, there’s nothing on the other side that takes your breath away. I’d gladly slow down every time if Pittsburgh was on the other side. I fall in love with the city all over again every damn time.

Completely non-relatedly, I post too much about Pittsburgh and drinking. I’m adding those two things to the list of banned subjects. At least temporarily. When I’m allowed to start talking about the Steelers again (HINESWARDTODDHALEYMIKEWALLACEHEREARENEXTYEAR’SOPPONENTSANDTHISISDEFINITELYHOWIFEEL), I’ll start talking about Pittsburgh and drinking again.

The Pens won’t be off limits until after the season is over. So, I can say this: Hell yeah to James Neal’s contract extension.

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