This post is about crying, in honor of the 19 video “no cry” challenge that was on Reddit. See how far you can make it.

Times I’ve cried during a romantic-type chick flick: 0

Times I’ve cried when a person dies in a movie: 2
– Age 11: Beth dies in Little Women
– Age 21: Ellie dies in Up

Times I’ve cried when a dog dies in a movie (or comes close to dying or is sick, wounded, lost, loyal, protective, noble, etc): 5,000,000,000

I obviously cried during all the dog clips in that 19 video list. Those weren’t the only times I cried. But reliably, as soon as I saw that one was dog related, I prepped for tears. I ALWAYS lose it at that part in Homeward Bound when Shadow’s like “Oh, Peter. I worried about you so.” And at the end of My Dog Skip when the dog can’t get up on the bed, I start bawling. Not just tears. It’s at the level of audible sobs.

My first memory of dog death tears was during 101 Dalmatians when I was like 4 or 5. When the puppy dies (right after Perdita gives birth) and Roger is rubbing it, I definitely cried. It was a moment of self-awareness. As a 4 or 5 year old, it was hard for me to understand why I was crying because I’d seen the movie many times before and knew the puppy was gonna be ok. I still don’t really get it actually. But I do know that I cry at least one tear every time I see that scene to this day.

I cry about dogs even when there’s no death, too. For real, Balto makes me cry. I cry during that one just because dogs are noble and heroic and loyal.

And when I’m at home in my WNY bedroom and Lucy lays outside my door in the morning until I get up, I cry on the inside from love. She’s basically Nana.

Even things that aren’t dogs but are kind of like dogs make me cry. Example: Lilo and Stitch. Although, there are a lot of other components in that movie that make me cry the whole time, too.

Reading about dogs is a problem as well. When I was 11 and recovering from appendicitis with severe peritonitis, I read Where The Red Fern Grows to get caught up for school. Why they assign that book is beyond me. It just makes every  6th grader cry. Anyway, this poor kid from a hopelessly poor family has 2 dogs. That sets me up for tears all by itself. Anything about poor kids (especially ones with rough situations… e.g. Lilo and Stitch, City of God, Children of Heaven) makes me cry. Orphans especially. I had to stop watching The Cider House Rules in the middle because the orphans were making me cry so hard I had a dehydration headache.

The combo of poor kids AND dogs is obviously unbearable.

So, anyway, at the end of the book, one of the two dogs basically has its guts ripped out by some kind of large mountain cat. Disemboweled to the point that the entrails fall out and get caught on a damn bush on the way home. As I recall, the boy didn’t know the injuries were this bad until the insides of the dog (probably the intestines) get stuck on the bush. Don’t quote me on this though, because I read it so long ago. Anyway, that dog obviously dies. It’s sad. Super sad. But at least the other dog is gonna live, right? I mean, that one only had minor injuries. Oh, hells no. It gets worse. The 2nd dog then dies from grief. Before she dies though, with her last remaining bit of strength, she drags her body to the first dog’s grave and dies on top of it…

Holy. Shit.

I mean, my God… there has never been a sadder piece of literature ever written.

I was crying so hard at the end that my parents thought I was having some kind of medical problem and probably dying myself having just almost died a few weeks earlier.

Aside from dogs and poor kids in rough situations, the #3 biggest thing that makes me cry is lonely old people. I think that’s why Up was a struggle throughout and not just when Ellie dies.

Tears during every part. EVERY. DAMN. PART.

I also cried when she found out she couldn’t have kids. And like the whole way through that montage, honestly. Then when the mailbox gets knocked over. Then when Carl hurts the guy for knocking the mailbox over it gets worse. Then there are periodic tears until the end. Even at the “happy” end of the movie (I call it bittersweet) when Carl and the kid are eating ice cream, I cry.

Up makes everyone cry, though. More than once. If you don’t cry during Up, you are living in a glass case of non-emotion.

Anyway, Up has a happy-ish ending from a loneliness perspective. The lonely old person ceases to be lonely. This, however, is the saddest lonely old person thing you will EVER see.

Whenever I get a substantial amount of something bad in my eyes (like sunscreen) and can’t flush it out well, I watch La Maison en Petits Cubes. My eyes are then clear in no time.

Speaking of eye problems and crying, tomorrow I have an ophthalmologist appointment because something is very wrong. I kind of have a feeling it’s going to end with a referral to a neurologist due to other non-eye problems I’ve been having. This scares the poop out of me and makes me want to cry. But there’s no use crying until you know it’s bad with certainty.

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