Never Forget Where You Come From

I think one of the most important things you need to do when you move away from home and/or get older is to never forget where you come from. This is so critical to me that it’s the second pillar of my “Four Pillars of Living with Integrity.” If I have time at some point, that will be a whole post.

For the purposes of this post, all you need to know is that remembering where you come from helps you stay grounded which is a relatively obvious connection that requires no further delineation currently.

I’m bringing this up right now because Mary has completely lost herself. As evidenced by the fact that she put a freaking NY Islanders license plate holder on her car. ARE YOU KIDDING  ME?!

(I whited out her plate number so you internet creepers can’t stalk her.)

This is beyond disgusting and I feel like I’ve failed as an older sister.

Going to school on Long Island changed her in a lot of ways. She got way more high maintenance. You would not believe how particular this girl is about her clothes, hair, eyebrows, etc. She won’t wear anything less expensive than Uggs on her feet in the winter and can’t eat until she puts on makeup before breakfast… even with the immediate family who saw her almost every day for the first 18 years of her life and knows exactly what she looks like without it and does not judge her at all.

I mean, I’m not a disinterested slob by any means but I can go to Dunkin Donuts with mascara from the day before on my face and an old pair of Converse on my feet without feeling like I’m about to have a panic attack. Caring too much about how you look becomes an unhealthy fixation and that’s not at all how we were raised. Vanity was not part of our upbringing in any way. But… fine… whatever. Become obsessed with how you look. I don’t have to like it but I can tolerate it. If I have to. I guess.

But what’s TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE is supporting any hockey team other than the Pens. What a disgrace. I’m about to disown her.

ESPECIALLY ANOTHER TEAM IN OUR DIVISION. This is so gross. All my happy memories involving Mary are forever tainted. I can’t even talk to her right now.

The boundaries have clearly been breached with this license plate nonsense.

In terms of her new high maintenance tendencies, assessing her level of corruption is somewhat subjective. There are shades of gray in there. You can’t really decisively say that she’s completely given up on her roots based on that type of evidence.

But with team allegiances, it’s like you either are a Pens fan or you aren’t a Pens fan. And you can’t be a Pens fan and an Islanders fan AT THE SAME TIME. So clearly she has decided to no longer be a Pens fan. And that’s not ok.  In our family, you are born a Pens fan and you die a Pens fan. Any other deviation is considered to be an outright betrayal and it’s disloyalty at the highest level. I bet my mother’s heart is broken. She will probably have to skip work tomorrow once she finds out because she probably won’t be able to get out of bed and all the blinds will be closed and the room will be dark and the TV won’t even be on and she won’t be able to eat.

Mary has been corrupted all the way down to the deepest level of her soul. Everyone please pray for her salvation. And anyone know a good Catholic priest with a lot of exorcism experience just in case it comes to that?

2 responses to “Never Forget Where You Come From

  1. I can totally eat breakfast AND go out in public without make up on. But all the rest is probably true…

    • Now I know how evangelical parents must feel when they find out that their kid is gay. You’re probably going to start littering for all I know.

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