Drunk Texting With Liz: Militant Feminism Edition

Mary forwarded this drunk text I sent her one night in March:

Someday soon I’m going to round up an army of redheads with big boobs and we’re going to use our assets to destroy men. We will bring them all down one by one for the betterment of society and the relief of women all around the world. With science and vibrators, men are useless. With their current pussiness and irresponsibility, they’re going out of their way to prove the uselessness. I’m not living in a world where I raise children AND support lazy men. Men of our generation are a new breed of slacker unmotivated freeloaders. It’s like when Republicans say they don’t work to support SS abusers. Well, I don’t work to support men. I’m also sick of them contributing nothing, but at the same time destroying hearts everywhere. Like not only do we have to work to support a family and give birth to the kids, but we also have to put up with the heartbreak they cause. It’s bad enough to be just a lazy motherfucker (neutral) but why do they have to take it a step farther and antagonize our emotions? In 50 years, it’s going to be a fucked up situation unless we stop it now.

This is proof that I can text immaculately when intoxicated. I’m a very functional drunk. And a very bitter drunk sometimes.

I miss my non-broken phone because it enabled me to send lengthy paragraphs like that. Now I can only text from the outside screen and my thoughts are limited to 160 characters.

WTF does that use of “neutral” mean, though? I wish I could get inside of drunk Liz’s brain and find the answer because that makes absolutely no sense.

I guess maybe I was saying that being lazy is sort of harmless compared to the emotional antagonizing?

Anyway, if you’re skeptical about whether an army of redheads could actually destroy the male population, I kindly refer you this post.


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