Category Archives: relationships

49 Days Later

My new boyfriend became my ex-boyfriend in late September. It was an amicable breakup and we’ve been able to maintain a healthy friendship. It’s nice to know that not all relationships have to end in disaster and I’m more open to them than I was previously.

Kelly, the Pittsburgh Rachel, and I had a crazy girls weekend in New Orleans shortly thereafter. It was almost as nuts as The Hangover. I’ve never done so many shameful things in a three day period. And I came home physically (and probably morally) broken. When you’re with tourists and spend every night in the French Quarter, New Orleans becomes the real Sin City. Everyone’s predicting that my life is going to fall apart when I move there in a month-ish. But I don’t think people fully appreciate/understand New Orleans. It’s so much more than drinking.  Although, when James, Rachel, Laura, and Julian come down for Mardi Gras, I’m mentally prepared to hate myself for the entirety of the following week.

The Mobile Rachel and I drove to Atlanta a few weeks ago to see Dispatch at the Tabernacle. One of the coolest venues I’ve ever been to AND the best show I’ve ever seen AND I got to meet them AND Pete and Braddigan signed my shirt. I’m not exaggerating when I tell people that it was the best day of my life.

The whole thing was especially crazy because I didn’t even fucking know they were touring again until like two weeks beforehand. We were at Serda’s doing clinical paperwork and Rachel mentioned that they were coming to Atlanta and I almost fell off the freaking bench from shock. Apparently, this isn’t even their first tour since getting back together to play again. I just assumed it was over forever so I didn’t bother to stay up-to-date. Lesson learned. Never give up on your life-long favorite bands.

Good Old War opened. And they were sweet/catchy/acoustic and made everyone all happy/wiggly. Check them out.

Also, at the tender age of 25, I realized how old I was. Say It Ain’t So started playing between bands and half the people geeked out and sang along like their life depended on it. The other half didn’t. And I realized that it was because they were too young to really have been truly affected by The Blue Album. I’m pretty sure that I’ve almost exclusively listened to Dispatch and Weezer since that night.

Anyway, nursing school turned me into a workaholic. Even though things are theoretically supposed to be more relaxed now, I’m intentionally staying outrageously busy because when I have free time, I feel empty and agitated. You can become so accustomed to stress that you can’t function without it. On top of practicum hours in the ED and stuff for online classes, I started volunteering at a community health clinic to fill the void. I can’t stop.

Finally, I’m going to die without hockey. Fuck the lockout.

I’ve Lost Total Control Of My Life

Have I already written a post titled that? I feel like I have. And if I haven’t, I’ve absolutely thought about it.

It’s because I’m dying.

13 days until this rotation is over. Hopefully (all my fingers crossed) it’s a little easier afterwards. Just a few more classes and a practicum left to complete. 101 days ’til graduation.

Anyway, a few updates:
1) Ben came to see me while he was visiting his grandparents in Florida a few weeks ago and it was awesome and I miss him every day.
2) I survived my first hurricane. Even though it was just a category 1 and hit New Orleans and Mississippi way more than Mobile. My power didn’t even go out.
3) I have a new boyfriend. And he’s awesome. So awesome, in fact, that when I was bummed about not being at Beaver Stadium with my family on Saturday, he made it better. I had class all day (yes, on Saturday… it was a make-up day due to Isaac) so I didn’t even get to watch the game. But when I showed up to his house afterwards, he was wearing a PSU shirt, had DVRed the game, and had a case of Yuengling in his fridge. Even though he’s an Ole Miss fan and we’ve been officially dating less than a month. Seriously, one of the nicest things anyone has ever done in the history of the whole world. This relationship terrifies me but I’m pretty sure it’s worth it.
4) I’m kind of loving SEC football because it’s crazytown and intense. However, I know next to nothing about it. Case in point… three teams I thought were in the SEC that actually aren’t: Baylor, Florida State (I really should have known that), and Oklahoma (don’t ask me why I thought they were). Also, I still don’t care one way or another regarding the Auburn vs. Alabama rivalry.

I’m so damn happy that football is back. The joy of watching someone catch a pass in the end zone is always way more intense during the end of August and beginning of September.

And a few of us got two parking spots for the USA/Nicholls State game this Saturday. First crazy tailgate of the year! Although, since I’m used to Pitt and Penn State games, this is gonna be a bit of a different experience. All you have to do to get parking spots is claim them and pick up the passes. Same for tickets. That’s unreal since I’m used to the competitive unavailability of these things. I mean, South Alabama is still Division I (as of this year, haha) but like half as many kids go here… compared to Pitt, at least (and its 1/3 compared to Penn State). Lord knows I’m gonna be drunk and cheering my face off though, so that part’s the same. I have school spirit in all situations.

Except when Pitt continues to embarrass themselves season after season. I will totally stand by a team to the end if they suck just because they suck (go Buccos). But Pitt sucks because they call terrible plays and throw terrible passes and fumble around like idiots. Consistently. Every season. I refuse to stand by that. If you’re theoretically supposed to be good but still end up sucking, that’s not ok. Get your shit together.

I’m kind of ashamed to have gone there now. Especially amongst all my SEC friends. I think I’m just gonna pretend that I’m not a Pitt grad from now on. If someone’s ever like “Hey Liz, didn’t you go there?” during the humiliating ESPN highlights (which I’m still boycotting, BTW), I’ll just be like “Umm… what?… No…” because that’s totally convincing and not shady so it’s gonna work.

In other semi-related sports news, I’m obviously absolutely happy that the Pirates might be able to slide into the playoffs… even though it’s actually been looking kind of grim as of late. I’d seriously cut off my left hand if it meant that this would come true though. Every time someone posts a status about being at a game or a picture of PNC Park, my heart breaks a little. Up until this summer, I’m pretty sure I’ve gone to at least one game a year since it opened. There are pros and cons to every major life decision.

And I know that on Sunday night when the Steelers play, I’m probably gonna put on my Polamalu jersey and curl up on the couch in the fetal position and be really freaking sad because it’s not the same.

TLDR: Despite not having posted for almost a month, nothing’s really changed.

Drunk Texting With Liz: Militant Feminism Edition

Mary forwarded this drunk text I sent her one night in March:

Someday soon I’m going to round up an army of redheads with big boobs and we’re going to use our assets to destroy men. We will bring them all down one by one for the betterment of society and the relief of women all around the world. With science and vibrators, men are useless. With their current pussiness and irresponsibility, they’re going out of their way to prove the uselessness. I’m not living in a world where I raise children AND support lazy men. Men of our generation are a new breed of slacker unmotivated freeloaders. It’s like when Republicans say they don’t work to support SS abusers. Well, I don’t work to support men. I’m also sick of them contributing nothing, but at the same time destroying hearts everywhere. Like not only do we have to work to support a family and give birth to the kids, but we also have to put up with the heartbreak they cause. It’s bad enough to be just a lazy motherfucker (neutral) but why do they have to take it a step farther and antagonize our emotions? In 50 years, it’s going to be a fucked up situation unless we stop it now.

This is proof that I can text immaculately when intoxicated. I’m a very functional drunk. And a very bitter drunk sometimes.

I miss my non-broken phone because it enabled me to send lengthy paragraphs like that. Now I can only text from the outside screen and my thoughts are limited to 160 characters.

WTF does that use of “neutral” mean, though? I wish I could get inside of drunk Liz’s brain and find the answer because that makes absolutely no sense.

I guess maybe I was saying that being lazy is sort of harmless compared to the emotional antagonizing?

Anyway, if you’re skeptical about whether an army of redheads could actually destroy the male population, I kindly refer you this post.

If I Were You, I’d Come Back Home

This one makes my heart melt instead of explode:  If I Were You by Whiskey Farm

If I were you, I’d answer my letters
If I were you, I’d pick up the phone
If I were you, I’d try to make this better
If I were you, I’d come back home

If I were you, I’d head for the mountains
Far away from the city lights
Find a spot where your heart can’t hear nothin’
And let it fly into the night

This wasn’t what we planned, no
I guess you did what you had to do
And maybe I’d understand
If I were you

If I were you, I’d call up your mother
She always knew just what to say
Ask her if I deserve another
Chance to make you want to stay

This wasn’t what we planned, no
I guess you did what you had to do
And maybe I’d understand
If I were you

If I were you, I’d answer my letters
If I were you, I’d pick up the phone
If I were you, I’d try to make this better
If I were you, I’d come back home

And it kinda makes me feel like a bitch for always being the one who leaves. But none of my former love interests have ever cared whether or not I stayed. I think I’d act differently if the circumstances were different.

The shittiest thing is when you want someone to want you to stay but they don’t so you have to go. I hate being the one who always has to call it.

The Avett Brothers put it best, as usual…

How can you tell when goodbye means goodbye?
Not just for now…  for the rest of you life
How can you stand there with love in you eyes
And still be walking away?

Real Life Is Way More Romantic Than Flowers

Thanks, Reddit, for restoring my faith in the possibility of real/genuine/forever love.

Some of these stories are pretty awesome. The OP’s tale was a pretty good one. Many more made me smile too.

I went with my boyfriend and our friends one night right after getting over the stomach flu. Mistake.

Since I felt gross from being sick, I had on a short and tight dress. I figured it would distract everyone from how pale I looked. I had a few drinks and started to feel like I was going to die, so I asked my boyfriend if we can go outside. He closed his tab and I somehow made my way to the car. We were in the backseat and I was half laying/half sitting up having one of the drunk “just breathe… just breathe” moments.

I sat up and yelled at him to open the door (child safety locks). I threw up all over the parking lot and a bit on my dress. He told me later that he knew that he was in love with me when I “threw up and farted at the same time, right next to him, and he still wanted to kiss me.”

So embarrassing.

A lot of the stories have to do with bodily dysfunctions and illnesses. I wonder if that’s because the OP started with one so that’s just what people were prone to thinking about or because that’s actually when you’re the most vulnerable/humiliated so if your SO handles it well and helps you out and doesn’t make a big deal out of it, then you realize he/she is worth hanging on to forever.

For good measure, here’s a non-poop/vomit one…

After two years of long distance dating (West to East Coast) my lovely fiancee (now) flew across the country and a day later we moved in to our new apartment together.

4 Days later, the searing back pain I thought was a pulled muscle from incorrectly moving boxes sends me to the emergency room. Turns out I have cancer and a tumor on my spine. I am admitted directly to the oncology ward and don’t get to leave for 3 months while they blast chemo through me.

My wonderful lady unpacks and sets up our apartment, cooks me dinner every night so I don’t have to eat hospital food, sleeps on a cot next to my bed at the hospital and does every other conceivable thing she could possibly do to help me through it all.

You better believe I proposed!

Several people did comment with situations in which their SO was awesome and then that it didn’t actually work out in the end. Which I can attest to because it happened to me. So, I’m not totally getting carried away with these idealistic sentiments.

For Valentine’s Day 2011, Matt took me to the ballet then out for a pretty nice dinner. And just as we were heading to bed for the night, I started to feel outrageously ill and proceeded to be sick in every imaginable way you can be sick. If you’ve never been sitting on the toilet and projectile vomiting at the same time, I can tell you that it SUCKS. After getting me everything I could possibly need to feel better, Matt actually wrapped me up in towels because I was cold and shaking and laid on the bathroom floor with me while I proceeded to throw up off and on for the next 2-3 hours.

Even though he was a great/amazing guy that night, he still turned out to be an asshole. Assholes can have good guy moments, too. Don’t get caught up. Keep your feet on the ground, people. Because the shitty thing is that after that night, I really thought he loved me enough to want to be with me forever. Girls are freaking idiots. Lesson learned.

Side note: For some reason, I can’t eat seared or raw tuna because a similar outcome occured at the beach during summer 2010. We all ate the same thing and I was the only one who got sick. It’s only tuna, also. Every other type of seared/raw seafood is fine. Someone explain that one.

Lord, I’m Coming Home To You

It was too early to come home. I knew that. Unfortuately, I had no choice. And I was so happy to celebrate with James and Rachel. The wedding was FANTASTIC. Really. Best wedding of all time.

Everything with Matt was smooth. Until after the after party. When he wanted to talk. I tried to resist. And held out for a long time. But unfortunately not forever. The man is persistent and I was drunk and weak.

Cue severe emotional trauma.

Charlotte, Desi, and Ryan had to like compression cuddle my sobbing body last night.

It fucking hurts to breathe. I tear up every 10 minutes. My eyes are swollen from crying. And it sucks that I have to be out in public all day.

But it’s over. I never have to see the guy again. Even though the band-aid was way way way ripped off last night and I have to start over with the healing, at least I know that this is the last time I’ll have to start over.

After 3.5 years of starting the healing process over and over again with him, I’m happy to be done.

My flight leaves a little before 8. I got to the airport at like 1:15 because Pittsburgh was suffocating my heart. I need to get on this plane and get back to the Gulf Coast. It’s my safe place.

Why Adults Maintain Sibling Relationships

Well, at least Mary hasn’t forsaken the academia part of her upbringing because she emailed me this article once she read the previous post. It’s a pretty interesting and short read for all you people who have siblings. And it’s super relevant to this conflict of interest that has developed between Mary and I.

One participant stated, “I maintain a relationship with [my sister] because no matter what, she will be my sister, and I have to love her even if sometimes I may not like her.”

Sigh. For the record, I obviously do not approve of her new life choices. However, I will still tell her most of my secrets and get her a Christmas present every year. Just a heads up though, Mary… next year you’re getting a Pens license plate holder and I’m super gluing it on to your car.